Hey, I know this is a bit of a controversial one but something I have to address, so I hope I won’t have to purchase a shield. 🙂
Football fans (some of the folks out there may call it soccer) are not usually shy in expressing passion for the game. Let me correct my statement…, they are damn loud about it and they let everyone know. It does not matter if you care about football or not, you will receive your very passionatelly presented portion of updates anyway.
I have never cared about the game. To be honest I don’t see much point in 11 guys chasing a ball for like… forever. Yawn! I find much better ways of spending my free time like having a lovely dinner out on a patio, treating myself for a haircut, walking my dog, going to a countryside for the day, driving my car… I could just go on an on with my regular activities that are simple but make me happy. Sitting all evening at the football stadium would not fill me with much joy but I would have to keep it myself because any discussion with this football sort of species out there is a lost battle. 🙂 Sometimes here in UK it feels almost like saying that you are not a fan of any team is almost being a threat to the national security. You definitely look suspicious.
One time I was stopped in the elevator by one person who asked me where I am going. I answered in complete honesty that my destination on that day was Manchester. Then I received a reply, that going to Manchester is not a good idea and they feel really sorry for me. Hmmmm, I thought to myself, why would you feel sorry for me, Manchester is a pretty coll place to be, I really enjoy the buzzing downtown… little did I know that Manchester lost that day to Liverpool! …oh well…
No wonder that we less keen on this game are sometimes feeling like a minority and a bit left out in the society. So I have decided to create a survival guide to help us cope better with this craziness:
1. Don’t bother about learning the rules of the game, rather finish a crossword puzzle.
2. Keep it honest and do not pretend that you know football stuff when you don’t have a clue. The truth will come out anyway (like myself a few years ago, when I cheered to the wrong football team by mistake… got 1-0 and 0-1 confused…, still don’t have a clue)
2. Some people have nothing else going on in their life than football and spend all their free time talking about it. You won’t change a thing here, so the best advise I can suggest is to switch off and think about your next holiday in the Caribbean, plan your list of groceries you need to get, clear your backlog of emails on the phone…
3. When you are in the situation you have to watch it and it is a bit difficult to say that you need to visit yet AGAIN your grandma, concentrate on the commercials as they won’t be a drag as usually, but rather a bit of fresh breeze and during the game full on sneak out to the kitchen for another bite of that tasty hot-dog or if feeling bold to the gas station for a box of ice cream.
4. In the worst times remember that according to some public questionnaires slightly more than half of population of UK is either not at all interested or not very interested in football! Yay, that means that it is not only me but there are more guys out there like me!!!
4. MY MESSAGE TO ALL FOOTBALL FANS: Imagine you work as a surgeon… do you think all your friends would appreciate if you talked on every get together about your bloody patient cases? Most likely not. So try co be COMPASSIONATE to us rest of the world.
Have a great day everyone, it does not matter if you are a fan or not.